7. Invisible For A Day

You know, I thought long and hard about this entry. I typed stuff down and I backspaced it all, more times than I could count, and I came to a conclusion: Apart from stealing stuff, sneaking into places you wouldn't normally be allowed to go, and spying on people (which I would definitely do but I don't want you to think I'm a creep so I'm not going to include that in the agenda), there isn't a lot else you could do when you're invisible. I mean, it seems pretty boring actually. So, I went and changed the rules up a little bit. Yes, I'm still invisible, but more importantly, I have the power to 'jump' from place to place like that guy from Jumper, and I also have the power to make myself visible (my gosh, I almost said uninvisible) should I so desire. So, if I were invisible for 24 hours, my day would go something like this:

6am - Wake up

6:15am - Shower. Naked. Hehe.

7:00am - Go to Fourways and magically conjure up a pair of Heelys, and Heely down the ramp to the movies. I shit you not, the Monday after I bought my Heelys, they put up the "No Heelys" sign, and I never got to go down the Fourways Movies ramp.

7:30am - Run around, pushing people into people, and constantly tap random people on the shoulder, until a fight breaks out.

8:10am - Find Julius Malema, and beat the crap out of him. And then when he's on the floor, writhing in pain, screaming "WHY?!", I'll be like, "Bitch, you know why! YOU KNOW WHY!"

8:45am - Haunt the shit out of Jhayde for a good hour or so, just for the laughs.

9:45am - Find each one of my 'enemies', and give them each a hug. Then I'd probably push them over.

10am - Steal millions of toys, clothes, and food, 'jump' around the world, and give them to all the little kids and families in need.

12pm - 'Jump' to America.

12:02pm - Find Stephenie Meyer, and beat the crap out of her. And then when she's on the floor, writhing in pain, screaming "WHY?!", I'll be like, "Bitch, you know why! YOU KNOW WHY!"

12:30pm - Find Kim Kardashian, stand in front of her, and shout "LOOOOL!" 

12:40pm - Go to wherever the US WNT is and watch their practice, in a totally non-creeper way.

1:30pm - Walk up to Tobin Heath. (Turn visible)

1:35pm - Get over the awe of being in her presence.

1:40pm - Give her the biggest high 5 ever and tell her what a great freaking job she's doing. (And then go back to being invisible)

1:43pm - Find Chris Pine and stare at him for a good 20 minutes or so. Mmm mmm mmm.

2:03pm - 'Jump' to the top of Mount Everest and have some sort of (invisible) spiritual reawakening.

2:30pm - Get some lunch. Probably Steers or something like that.

2:45pm - 'Jump' to wherever Emily is and be like, "Bitch, I'm invisible! Let's go break shit!" and then we'd probably watch some TV.

3:30pm - 'Jump' to Hawaii, and surf a little.

4pm - 'Jump' to the most remote island on the planet, just because I can.

5pm - Get hold of a red Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, and park its ass in my driveway.

5:30pm - Go to some A-list movie premiere, and walk down the red carpet. Like a boss.

7:30pm - Dinner.

7:50pm - Gather a whole bunch of friends, break into school, and WREAK HAVOC!!!

[I interrupt this entry to bring to you the exciting news that I just discovered that Allie Long retweeted me yesterday. Allie Long is a legit American soccer player and one of Tobin Heath's bff's. While I acknowledge that that probably doesn't mean much to you, for me it's pretty rad.]

10pm - Break into my principals office and give him a piece of my mind... through a very strongly worded anonymous letter.

10:30pm - 'Jump' to New York or Rio or wherever the party's at.

12:30pm - 'Jump' to the Amazon Rainforest, and explore for a little bit.

2am - 'Jump' to my favourite place in the whole wide world, and spend the remainder of my invisible hours exploring there.

5:59am - 'Jump' back home, and get some sleep.

I understand that it isn't the most interesting agenda in the whole world, but it suits me just fine.

Disclaimer: Yes, I would steal amazing clothes and gadgets and treasures and whatever else I fancy, and I would stalk certain people, but like I said, I don't want you to think badly of me, so I won't mention that.